Saturday, September 09, 2006

you are my sunshine

what is it about ramen noodles that tastes so good when you don't have a dollar to your name, but when you've got five bucks to get a sandwich down the street, it's the last thing you want? well, today i'm pleased to reintroduce mr. maruichi into my life, as delicious as ever.

yeah, it looks to be a lean year for your aspiring hero, at least until something new comes along. why i'm okay with this, is that nick and i are finally writing, and i think that part of the reason i've waited so long is that when you've got a job and money to fatten yourself with, you do. at least i did, i spoiled myself and everyone i love. i don't regret it, it'll come back around. but you forget what it's like to scrape together change for cigarettes, or shop in the discount aisle. what it's like to need a job. you just forget. and that's when nick and i were at our best, the two of us relying on care packages from parents, and my few dollar an hour job at wpgu, for sustenance. we paid for booze and weed with the money i made donating plasma on the other side of campus. and it sucked, but we got by. i still don't know how.

so it's nice (i guess) to be concerned about these things again. at least for the creative voice in me, having to really work to get through the day forces an introspection that i've been missing for too long. money was pacifying that part of me, and i knew it, but didn't care...

anyway, i have to close the coffee shop tonight and then hop over to wpgu for my shift there, and i need to prep and shower. so i'm gonna. just wanted to write... just because. oh, by the way, below is the start of our script, i was working on it while i was at the comic book shop and was going to save it as a draft, just to have it. but my boss got ahold of it after i'd left. thanks, colby... ;)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

[Shot of RYAN's phone vibrating on desk. Closer shot shows "NICHOLAS" flashing on the phone's cover. Shot pans out to show RYAN sitting at desk, head down and hunched over, fellating himself expertly.]

i want to whine

but i won't. i'm giving up on hearing back from staff management in austin. also giving up on getting the rest of my vacation pay. money comes and goes. worked out details of payment with mr. jordan, "calling on behalf of the university of illinois." bill-collecting cocksuckers. mr. jordan was a pretty nice guy, though, credit where credit's due. now, about affording it all... we'll see.

it's all okay, though, really. i'm saying this like you're the one who needs convincing. i guess i'm just reminding myself. we'll all float on, huh? (thanks, jeff.)

i'm going to capitalize on these next depressing, poor months, and work on this script. it's hard writing about a shitty time in your life when everything is going so damn well. so this'll be good.

just being dramatic. i feel a little better already.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

safe and sound

i made it home safely and soundly early monday night. colleen, my new roommate and old friend, pulled into the parking lot as i threw my bags over my shoulders and started for my building. she put her coffee-date plans on hold for almost thirty minutes to catch up. it was just what i needed after such a long, lonely drive, to feel her welcome and love. i had let another roommate borrow my bike for a three-week trip across the state, and while i was gone, he had returned the bike with a couple bottles of spanish red as a thank you. during the drive, i daydreamt of unwinding with a glass of wine but knew i didn't have the money, so seeing those two bottles as i dropped my bags to the floor made my sore eyes smile.

it was a strange night, that first one back in town. last night wasn't much less strange, but i'm easing back into life here. the job in austin is still pending, but i did decide to pursue it. being in a new place, with new people, every few days for a couple weeks made it difficult to want to come back to the same-old. i was hoping, even, the job would come through while i was away, and leave me only enough time to clean house and pack up, get in the car and go. being alone here is hard. i have my handful of friends here, but it's a slowly diminishing handful and i'm ready for something else. i don't feel at home, at home, anymore.

the radio station helps. i had a great shift yesterday morning, and my new music hour last night was good, despite waking up late from a nap and having to throw it together quickly. polyphonic spree have a new album out next week, and as a teaser, they put out a five-song e.p. yesterday with a couple songs from the album and a few covers. their cover of nirvana's "lithium" is pretty incredible, and it kept me up late last night, inspiring a new mix. i remember having a conversation with someone once, wishing i could make a career out of making mix cd's -- they shot back with, "yeah, it's called being a radio dj..."

at least i'm doing something right, huh?

nick and i started writing, finally. we've been talking about getting our story down, for years. just so much crazy shit has happened with us, it makes sense. well, during my last, rainy day in boston, i sat down and started making notes, and before long, i had built a rough-but-believable storyline. i called nick and ran it by him, and when he showed up for dinner that night, he'd already written an intro. that's something to hold onto. and being alone in champaign is helping me find the part of myself that has something to say. that, or it's quickly killing me. but either one is good for our story, so i'm trying not to complain too much.

woke up with a little to-do list today: get checks from comic shop, radio station, coffee place; buy books for school, or at least for spanish, since my first class is tonight. then work. i'm really having a hard time motivating myself. i haven't even done laundry yet. i have to help my roommates clean at some point, too. right now, i'm eating cookies for breakfast and listening to the long mix i started last night. honestly, this is what i'd rather do all day.

but if i've learned anything over the past four years, it's to go ahead and shower, and start your day. never know what's in store for me today. you just have to get up and go...