in love with a black and white picture of martha wainwright

but this isn't it. this is by josh petker. you can find both him and martha, all decked out in pretty purple, at music is art.

[i just sighed so exacerbatingly, you might have felt it from where you sit. did you? i'm sorry. going to bed as the sun rises and waking just before it sets, sure makes these night hours crawl...]

always on the same page as i, jeff thinks we need to find a way to be vampires, and i really think he's onto something. i told him how the half-mexican goth girl i work with very well might be one, we've kissed and she bit my lip so hard i swore she was after blood. i told nick about this vampire idea, and then my other idea of how i think it'd be great if we get to be cellmates one day (we're all about ideas tonight). he reasoned that we've done a good enough job of keeping each other out of our own criminal histories, our chances of life together behind bars aren't so bad.

so that's the new, tentative plan c (vampires being b, and making something beautiful still up there as number a). and when will that happen? i'm doing everything wrong. i swear, at the rate i'm going, with no food or money or friends to my name, it's literally a matter of days before i pick up that guitar and start making something out of this mess of a young man. how long before someone blogs about me?

and, without further ado, a nice little saturday night mp3 e.p. --

okkervil river - girl i knew, guy i met
sufjan - chicago (live, wnyc 2003)
the velvet underground - pale blue eyes
okkervil river - love to a monster
jose - hints (live, kexp 2006)
will sheff (okkervil river) - for real (live/solo/piano/fuckme)

if i still had a church sanctuary downstairs, you'd better believe i'd be at that piano bench right now. [p.s. thanks, unabashed sheff lover for the help on those track titles! "brother," btw. :)]

it's always about what you need in a moment to feel complete, to feel balanced. one cigarette or two, or one and one fourth, or a cup of coffee or a bottle of beer, or a bottle of tequila, or a certain song or a sad movie or anything loud, or someone's touch, or you neet to get off, or you need to not see anyone at all and maybe take a nap... but you're never full, never just right, and the hope is you can find the one person who never leaves you wanting anything again...

inspired by jeff's idea, i'm about to have myself a mini-marathon of claret-colored cine -- the lost boys, near dark (i just realized i watched this once, in my film studies class), and the hunger await me. should take me right up until sunrise.

i'm working on downloading six feet under, too. with about ten bucks to last me until payday, it's going to take a season or two of something to pacify this restless boy.

speaking of blood suckers, i spent some time with ol' buk tonight:



ah, shit. i guess setting my ashtray on my coffee cup wasn't a good idea after all, i just spilled both onto the carpet. i'd better go take care of this...

--

UPDATE 6:50a: i kicked that stain's ass. and near dark wins the prize. the hunger was just weird. now to waste some time on youtube until the sun burns me up.


black sheep trailer (not what you think)


rodrigo y gabriela. it's okay, you can watch it again. and again. ;)

ooh, they even teach you how to be this awesome. if you don't fall for gabriela like i just did, you crazy...

all right, i'm done. night.